We're filing project papers? You're kidding me. Why sit here sifting through the stuff we've already done…? There're denied proposals too? Then what the heck are we sitting here looking at dead trees for?

Let me guess. No, don't spoil it for me. Is this a smart head massager, or an autonomic pressure regulator cap, or a holographic environmental monitoring device…? It's just a normal hood? Well, dream bigger! Spot me some funding, and I'll do you a full suit worthy of the Head of Rhodes Island.

Yeah, I deal in contraband, but think—what am I 'violating'? They'd outlaw toothpaste if you paid 'em enough to make it Schedule 1. What kind of system is that? I'm trying to rescue the nice stuff from a contraband warehouse, you're trying to sell good drugs on the open market. You and me, we work the same.

Get a load of this, Doc! I rustled up an RGB frill-wig ahead of the summit on Originium goods regulations! Look, this thing changes color on its own, it… what? The summit started half an hour ago? Pfff. That's fine, I still gotta dip into the toybox. I'll deal with the summit later.

It's not all eggheads at Propeller Paradise. Look at me, I learned all my physics from teaching toys. If I can make it in there, pretty much anyone with a brain can. I'm just out to match people with little fellas that work for them. Can you imagine anything better than that?

Check that out. The stars. Glittering like a blanket over the sky. Make fun of me if you want, but when I was a kid, I'd hold this blanket full of holes over my head, stand under a light, look up to pretend I was stargazing. It was dumb. But life's about feeling out one dumb idea after another until you hit on something and feel like you've got your future. Right?

What am I doing hanging upside-down from the ceiling? Ha! Well, you looked hot enough to boil in that suit, and my propeller here pulls double-duty as a fan, doesn't it? Y'know, excuse me in advance for this, but it's geniuses like you that stump me the most. How come you've got the brains to study a terminal disease, but you don't think to install yourself a better air conditioner?

Back in Tkaronto, when I saw you squatting in the corner of your detention cell, chilling out studying the mushrooms, I knew the ATAO didn't get you, you were just playing the ATAO. And now here I am, business partner with a whiz like you. Goes to show I'm the real deal. And that I didn't put extra meat in your prison meals for nothing.

Wait, what did you just call me? 'Friend'? Nooo no no no, I've used that word on a lot of people before, but not between us, you understand? I don't want to sully my most dependable associate with the kind of relationship that breaks down when you don't like the same food.

One of these days, I've gotta figure out a way to suck out all the wasted nutrients from the morons who can't use their brains, and then redirect them into you, so you can stop spending all this time sleeping.

Want one, Doc? Here, I got a light. It's just an Originium firework, but you ain't seen nothing yet. Cut a deal today, and I'll get it to you tomorrow. Gordon Tannen, Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Arts Units, and Originium, at your service.

I got some bodycam footage from the gangs we busted back in my frontier days. Want it?

This is a real deal promotion medal, and not my consolation prize for playing patsy, right? Hey, then this IS my first one ever. You wanna pop the champagne?

I tell you what, this Rhodes Island joint's got potential to become the next Propeller Paradise! A few more of those promotions and I'll bring you along to make it happen… *burp*!

You guys on the transport crew for my little fellas? Then I'll bring a few extra crates.

You guys remember one thing: When you kick the door down, kick like you mean it! I'll handle the rest.

Oh, high-explosive Originite grenade, my beloved, you'll waste away in the warehouse no longer. I'll blow you up so good the whole continent's gonna hear you scream.

Get on your knees, now! What, never seen an ATAO agent lay down the law before?!

Don't sweat it, I catch your drift.

What, got a report for me?

Keep it simple. Doesn't matter where you put me, I'm still headed for the skies.

Stand a little further in, Doc. I can see your hood from here.

Don't touch me! You gonna fix my hazmat suit too? It's called sense.

No more hollering! What if I fill my data wrong? It's called courtesy.

Get up! How do I test-fire if you're lying down? It's called responsibility.

Quit playing dead! One more round, new weapon! It's called a control!

Oh, high-explosive Originite grenade, my beloved, did you see that smoke, that fragmentation? You're a success, you're magnificent, you're a hundred KG yield!

So I put the cuffs on you and now you say you got duped? What, did you forget you had a brain at the time?

Forget those runaways, tape, where's the duct tape? This is supercooled Originium condensate rustled from Sami! Every drop we lose, we lose forever!

Book it, guys! I'm Gordon Tannen and I don't fear a damn thing! I'll give my life before I give my tail!

Wow… What a beauty of a base. It's gotta be either an earth-digger or a sky-flier, right?

Feels good, right? Pure stress relief in your hand. It's designer. I'm always touching it myself.

Yeah? Wanna come fly with me?

Arknights.

Here's a toast to… eugh. Look at me, dredging up my old bootlicking ATAO habits. I'm throwing off our whole collaboration as equals. Okay, here's what we'll do. You serve as a tester for my new gear later, and then we're even again. Sound good?

What's on your mind, Doc? Penny for your thoughts.

C'mon, Doc, got a few hundred li'l fellas still waiting to meet you. Just you wait, they're gonna give you history's greatest firework show… What do you mean 'too much'? Too much my ass. Frankly, you should have your birthday every day, 'cause hunting for an excuse to do this is a pain in my tail.

Propeller Paradise, Rhodes Island, we're all relegated to roaming the barrens alone. But someday, there'll be a hundred Propeller Paradises and a hundred Rhodes Islands sailing all over the place. We'll be the great land then, and it'll be Max D.C.'s turn to be the languid lonely little dinghy.